A well-known actor shared the ups and downs of raising a child with Down syndrome. He opened up about this journey and how it took him by surprise. These challenges led him to take a break from his career, but this transformative turn brought a lot of personal growth.
In the glitz and glam of Hollywood, it is rare for fans to get a closer look into the inspiration and process of bringing a character to life. This actor, known for his memorable performances in the NBC comedy “Scrubs” and films like “Office Space” and “Platoon,” has opened up about the personal challenges that inspired his on-screen characters.
However, these challenges were more than just inspirations; they were life-changing lessons and rewards that altered the trajectory of the actor’s personal and professional life.
The actor’s life took a transformative turn when his son Max was born in August 1997, coincidentally on the day Princess Diana died. People around him and his ex-wife Lauren Lambert, were shocked, but the parents did not understand the fuss.
But just as the world was shocked at the death of Princess Diana, the actor and the mother of his son also experienced an unexpected shift. They had anticipated the birth of a daughter but were surprised by the arrival of a son.
Twenty minutes after Max’s birth, the doctors delivered more unexpected news, informing them that their newborn son was diagnosed with Down syndrome. The parents knew nothing about the condition nor had any indication that their child could be born with it.
The prenatal visits had been completely smooth, with the only news from the blood protein test and sonogram indicating they would be having a girl. “We did not have the amnio because we were discouraged from having it since Max’s mom was very healthy, and I was healthy, with no history of challenges in either of our families,” the actor explained.
The process of grappling with his son’s diagnosis was a rollercoaster. Initially, he wished he could take on his son’s challenges to spare him any suffering. Despite having no family history of the condition, the father was determined to educate himself about Down syndrome.
He learned that it is the most common genetic disorder, occurring once in every 800 births—a random twist of nature with no one to blame. However, the initial stages of processing this information were difficult.
The actor found himself thinking of a Paul Simon song from the album “Graceland”: “Breakdowns come and breakdowns go, so what are you gonna do about it?” This lyric became an inspiration for action.
He took a year off from acting, dedicating himself to understanding Down syndrome. Together with Lauren, he attended seminars and absorbed all the information they could find, preparing to support Max through his journey.
Although Max was spared some of the common complications associated with Down syndrome, such as heart and digestive issues, he wasn’t immune to others, like experiencing seizures at the age of three.
This did not make the journey any easier. The actor realized that he could not plan ahead like most parents but needed to ensure that his child’s current needs were met. He expressed, “When your child stops breathing 60 times a night, you don’t worry about what’s going on next year or even next week. You put aside thoughts about which preschool you’re going to enroll him in and focus on how he’s doing right now.”
As he came to terms with Max’s condition, he acknowledged a painful reality: the future he had envisioned, filled with father-son activities like playing catch, might never materialize. “But just because I gave up hoping for such things doesn’t mean I didn’t miss them. It was a huge forfeiture of desire and expectations,” he added.
As a result, the actor has reflected on the deeper meaning as he watches Max grow. He admitted that one of the hardest parts of raising a child with Down syndrome is the difficulty in making age-appropriate friendships as a teenager.
He reflected on his own adolescence, adding that he never had friends with Down syndrome when he was a teenager, which shed light on the isolation often experienced by this community.
Fortunately, Max has the support and love of his sisters, Billie Grace, and Kate, who have become his primary social circle. On the other side, the actor expressed that in the future, the hard truth is that friendships for Max will rarely happen innately.
“You have to generate friendship, and that’s a really hard one to swallow because you certainly can’t force a teenager to be your son’s friend, nor would you want to,” reiterated, the hands on father in question John McGinley.
Despite the challenges, there were moments of profound joy and significant milestones that reshaped the John’s perspective. He looked back on a casual day at the beach in Malibu, which brought an unexpected breakthrough.
Max, who often enjoyed throwing a tennis ball for the dogs, suddenly threw the ball to his father. What followed was a simple game of catch, but it was a significant moment for the actor because he realized that he was playing catch with his son.
It symbolized a connection he had long thought impossible. “That ball toss helped me understand that all the things I had surrendered hope of ever doing with my son were still attainable; they were just waiting for the right time,” John said.
This was not the only moment of pride the father had witnessed. He got to see Max grow up to be healthy. While he was in third grade, he was proud to see him develop impressive reading and math skills. But outside of school, Max enjoyed jumping on the trampoline and swimming.
Although the “Scrubs” star has faced many challenges in fatherhood, he credits his son for dramatically reshaping his understanding of life’s deeper values.
He explained, “I had no idea what love was until I met Max. I didn’t know what compassion was; I had no idea what patience was. Max is the glue that holds this family together. He adores his two sisters. He’s the glue. Everything we do is better when we’re a team when we’re all together and we’re doing it.”
Max has not only brought many lessons and growth into the actor’s life but also brought him his wife Nichole McGinley. The couple met on a beach in Malibu while John was playing a game of fetch with his dogs.
His son played the pivotal role of approaching the yoga teacher. John humorously recounted the moment, saying, “Max went over to this hot blonde behind me, and I was just aghast. I was like, ‘Max, you get the dogs. I’ll talk to the hot blondes.’ And so we switched.” From there, the rest was history.
It is clearly no secret that Max is a big inspiration in John’s life. Their deep bond has not only transformed his personal life but also influenced his professional work, particularly his portrayal of Dr. Perry Cox on NBC’s “Scrubs.” The actor let us into how his real-life experiences with his son became part of his acting.
He explained, “I think the camera’s an X-ray machine and you can’t see me, John McGinley, without seeing Max because I brought him to set every day right in my stomach. I brought him, and it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s up on a billboard or not, the lens knows. Cox’s edges are rounded by Max.”
The influence of his son was particularly evident in one of the most emotionally challenging episodes John had to shoot for “Scrubs.” In Season 5, there was a storyline that revolved around Dr. Cox losing three transplant patients to rabies.
This storyline took John back to the days he spent at his son’s bedside. “I felt like all day all I was doing was holding my guts, and if you bring some of that with you into that scene, the camera is going to suffer as your truth, and it was my truth, and the question becomes, how much of your Maxy truth do you want to tell? And I told it all in that episode,” he explained.
Looking at how intentional John is about his acting, he has built relationships with his audience since he began his career, but in a 2022 interview with Page Six, the actor admitted that he had taken another break from working.
This decision came at a crucial time, as he realized the importance of being present for his children during their formative years. He enjoyed his time off, immersing himself in the everyday activities of driving his daughters to school and gymnastics. However, he still found time to reunite with his “Scrubs” cast mates.
In addition to his family duties, McGinley dedicated a significant portion of his time to causes that are close to his heart, stemming directly from his personal experiences with his son, Max. He serves on the board of the Global Down Syndrome Foundation and works with the Special Olympics.
Additionally, John is vocal about changing the narrative around disabilities, particularly in how people communicate. He does not appreciate derogatory language that often surrounds the Down syndrome community; he initiated a campaign against the use of the words “retard” and “retarded.” He explained, “I love to bully bullies. We really hate the word retard and retarded.”
Max is also now a grown 26-year-old man who is thriving. His father shared an update, expressing both pride and joy in his current achievements and well-being. He mentioned that Max worked at Starbucks.
In addition to his job, Max has continued to pursue his passion for music. He plays in a band. “He has a concert in a couple of weeks,” noted John McGinley. A clip of him showcasing his voice was also shared on the Global Down Syndrome Foundation’s Facebook page.
When John discovered that Max was born with Down Syndrome, he did not know if he could be there for his son because he did not know anything about the condition. But after learning things got easier and he got to see his son grow up to be a talented young man.
